Knowing who are dealing with in a relationship a lot of time is a Herculean task, know him and you have solved more than half of the hiccup that comes with relationship, this is one reason couples do face great challenges at the realization stage of a relationship, by realization stage, I mean that period you are getting to know the real person you are dealing with, knowing the good, the bad and the ugly, those things that you wish aren’t there, but they are there and you just have to deal with them.
At this stage, misunderstanding may be the order of the day, especially if you don’t have a clue to knowing who you are dealing with, I bet you will agree it can be frustrating to try all your best to please someone, only for them to turn around and accuse you of being insensitive, the problem here is not that they are an ingrate, but you aren’t just doing things right.
There is something I do tell people, take advertisers as an example, when designing an advert campaign, they don’t package a message they like of they will prefer to hear, neither do they give to Nigerians what Americans will appreciate, nay, you know what they do? They study their target audience, they try to understand them, understand their language, their history and culture, that way, they don’t package something that will be regarded as offensive, he, it have nothing to do with the advertiser, but it is all about the target audience.
The Same rule applies here, don’t you think your relationship will be way better if you know what to do, how to do, and when to do some essential things that your partner will appreciate?
A lot of people do commit one blunder, a great one, and this blunder is putting everyone they meet under one category, based on what they have in common. Ever heard this clichés before? “all women love money” or “all men are dogs”. Statements like this are common, we hear them all the time, I know some people don’t say it categorically, but they have it at the back of their mind, it influences their actions and even inactions.
For example, you offend your woman, instead of addressing the matter squarely, apologizing and maybe assuring her you won’t do the same again, you go to a store, buy her some expensive stuffs, and there and then assure yourself the issue is settled, cause after all, ‘na money only women know’. Or take this other one, she has dated a guy who looked gentle on the surface but was a big-time flirt, so she just met this new guy who is quite outspoken, a friend to everyone, so she find it difficult to trust him, cause if the quite dude that barely talks to anyone can flirt so much, how much more this one that talks and makes friends with every Sade, Ada, and Laraba?
Another thing to consider is that the person you are in a relationship with is not your mother, your sister, aunty, neither is he your Father, your brother or uncle, so he won’t treat you as one neither should you treat him as one.
Remove some of these prejudices and you will have fewer problems dealing with some issues. People indeed share things in common, but not as a whole, but as a part, some women are talker, but not all women, even place two women that talks a lot sided by side, you will see they are still different in lots of ways.
The second part of this article will discuss some things that can give a clue into knowing who the person is but mind you, it is still limited, and just a single point cannot be used to measure who a person is. So till we talk again, take good care, and Have fun.