I read a story on a popular forum this morning and it got me thinking. The guy happens to meet a girl wearing a low cut, and according to him, he believes grown girls rocking low cut are usually the confidence and independent type and that drew him to her, so with a pure intention, he walked up to her, they chatted and exchanged contacts, he then decided to call her to go for a swim with him since they met at a gym. The girl later appeared with a wig, he was like ‘wow’, but on getting closer, guess what the lady said, ‘got some things to buy from the supermarket before going to swim, and like some naija babes, she gave the guy the ‘won’t you give me the money to shop?’ look. Dude was pissed off, but he still dropped 3k and then dismissed her out of disappointment, the miss low cut wasn’t an independent woman after all, she was a leech, asking a guy for money on a first date.
This guy only had to part with 3k, but some people have had to part with something more valuable than that, all for assuming to know a person.
Ever hear things like, ‘I know her so well, she can never do such’, or ‘I know you, you wont dare do such’…
Should we vouch for people.. Yes, but should we be so confident that we’ve known a person as a whole? Eish! Not really.
Ever wonder why we need to specialise in a sequence/branch/area in our chosen profession? Cause phenomenons are too wide and trying to master all at a time will result in confusion, now if a subject area can be so wide that it need to be broken down into bits, how much more a human? A spirit being, who has a soul, and lives in a body? (I know some won’t agree with that, but you understand what I meant right?).
The funny part is that like the dude above, some of us actually believe we know someone simply by how they dress (I am guilty of this, people tends to look more responsible to me when they dress corporate, especially in suit, though I am not a fan of suit myself), reason we all package and dress so well when we go for interviews.
But concluding you’ve known someone enough cause you have some things in common or have deeply interacted have some consequences , When you approach people like you’ve known them in and out, you are more prone to getting disappointed, if you have not been disappointed before, you may not understand what i am saying. Secondly, you won’t be able to know them like you should cause you are already assuming, you have built a version in your mind which is most time different from reality. One of my lecturers back in school once said to understand a phenomenon, the best thing to do is to do away with every assumptions or previous knowledge so that you can get accurate facts.
People reacts to different stuff under different conditions, take a circumstance out of a situation, the person will react differently. For example, a customer care representative of a company will always try to be nice, she’s got something to lose, her job, so even if a client insults her, she will most likely reply with a smile, and even beg you though you are in the wrong. But take the job out of it, she may not be so nice anymore. Now, let’s assume the same girl meets a guy she likes, she may say sorry to a goat that eat her bread to convince the guy she is indeed a kind person, but what happens after she has gotten the guy?
Don’t assume you know enough already, so that you will be able to know more. Whatever you know about a person, see it as a part of a whole. A person that shares secret with you today may still have a deeper secret he is keeping, as a matter of fact, I have realized their is always a secret to every secret.
You won’t be fooled by smiles and calmly appearances, cause you know there is always more to a cool, calm and well collected person you just met.
Finally, quit hacking into people’s mind, stop thinking ahead of them. Some years ago, I love hacking into people’s mind, trying to guess what they are thinking before they talk, I thought it means i am smart and intelligent, but I at the end, I discovered I was almost always wrong about people, I never get to know who the people I dealt with really were cause I had built a wrong image of them in my mind…don’t be like me *winks*
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