How do you feel when you love someone with all you have and you get rejected at the end? You ask endless questions, some rhetorical and to some of these questions, you want answers. You are going through so many emotions that all you could do wonder how you can get over rejection.
You go down the memory lane and try to figure out what you did wrong; somehow, you believe you must have missed it somewhere or how can someone you’ve given your heart to just decide to bounce on you like that? What about the feeling of inferiority that brings you to your knee? You feel you are not enough, you are not beautiful enough, not sexy enough, not smart enough and many others like that. But though you are feeling like your whole world is coming to an end, you need to realize your reasoning at the time is clouded, check out these points that will help you get over rejection better and faster.
1. Understand your emotion: It may be harder if this is your first time being rejected. You may go through series of emotions, so much that you may get consumed and frustrated. Today you are ‘just cool’, tomorrow, your heart breaks so much that you want to die, then the day after you hate the person that rejected you so much you could kill him or her. But you need to understand that feelings are just ephemeral, they don’t define you because they don’t last forever, therefore, you need to be determined to go through each day and make it better than the previous day.
2. Be determined: The negative feelings that come with rejection may weaken your mind, but despite that, you need to make a strong determination to move on and get your life back no matter what it takes. You need to determine to get better and stronger and live a happy life without that person in it, you may not know how this will happen, but a strong resolve will keep you in check when you are down and help you find the much-needed balance in your life again
3. Let out your feelings: Don’t suppress your feeling. It is alright to feel sad and lonely, it doesn’t make you weak, it only makes you human. Some try to cover up sadness with anger; some covers theirs with a smile and fake happiness. Suppressing your feelings is like stuffing a dangerous chemical in a can, you can only succeed for a while, the end of it may be catastrophic.
If you feel like crying, let it out. Sometimes when I am pressed, I like crying in a quiet place where I can’t be disturbed. I’ll cry to my satisfaction, clean my face, and believe me; the smile that would come after can’t be fake. If your way of releasing emotional stress is through talking, then share your burden with someone you trust.
4. Don’t dwell on it: you love him so much, he left you, he is gone, end of story. He left you to move on with your life, you should do the same. Dwelling on what happened will get you stuck in a place, and believe me, there is nothing for you there. So win the battle in your mind, why is it a battle? Your mind will always want to wander and think about him/her all day.
Your mind will always want to think about the past and imagine an impossible future. So each time you discover your mind is straying, bring it back home and change your thoughts. You may have to do this many times but when you succeed, it will be worth it.
5. Do Things you love: I can remember I got more serious about blogging when I was going through heartbreak. Hell no! I understand I can’t run from my thoughts, but then I realized feeding these thoughts was making my grieve stronger. So instead of sulking up all day, I started learning all I could about blogging, I didn’t have a PC so I was using my phone, I joined some blogger’s group and every day, I learned something new.
not only this, I was deeply into current affairs too, when I want to take a break from blogging, I am on twitter following the trends. At the end, I had little time to cry and grieve and imagine the impossible. It worked for me; it can work for you too.
6. Stop looking down on you: So because he rejected you means you are not good enough? Lie and lie and more lie. There are many brands of perfume in the market, some people hate vanilla but to some, vanilla is bae. The problem is not with vanilla, the vanilla fragrance is good on its own, the issue is with the people choosing and their preference. I know it hurts to be rejected, but it is wrong to look down on you because of that. Another person will appreciate the very thing he doesn’t like about you. It is all about choice and taste.
7. Don’t hate: I know some people believe it is good to hate what you can’t have, but the truth is ‘a love that ends in hate has not ended at all’. I told myself moving on is when I feel neither hate nor love for a person and you should too. Hatred is a negative vibe; it can corrupt your soul and make you a frustrated person. The most painful part, the person you are hating has moved on and is now happy or at least, trying to be happy, and you are there, suck in your bitterness and hate… c’mon! You can handle rejection better than that.
Let these words from Bishop TD Jakes Strengthen you