Saw something in a movie some days ago that cracked me up. A guy was angry his girlfriend had gone AWOL for some days, I mean, he was really furious o, the girl in her defense said she had travelled to get the money the guy requested for and she actually brought out two hundred thousand naira and handed it over to the guy. You need to see the way the countenance of this guy changed, all of a sudden, he became happy, using words of endearment like the girl had suddenly transformed into an angel. Right there I said something “small time now, they will say it is women that like money, so what is this?”
we may want to ignore it as a fictional movie, but truth be told, is it only women that loves money? What about men, don’t they love money too? I agree it is not common to see men using the size of a lady’s purse as a determining factor to date, but I am very sure there are men out there who will let go of a lady they love all because they see another who can help them make money. Imagine a girl from a well connected and wealthy family versus the hustling girl from a ‘we just dey survive’ background, how many guys will not want to consider the former? I am saying this to point out the fact that loving money or the comfort it can bring is not restricted to women; some men out there will pick comfort instead of true love.
What then should be the attitude of sisters to wealth and comfort in the choice of a man? Are you a believer in the Adam and Eve’s Theory of the genesis of man? Then let’s talk. Why was Eve created? “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable helper for him”. Now, the question is ‘helper’ in what? To do what? Adam, in His complete state could take care of himself and do some other things, but God said he needed a helper.
Before the woman was created, Adam already had assignments, God had put him in charge of the world he created, then after, he created Eve, what was Eve supposed to do? To Help Adam in fulfilling his assignments. When God made Eve, He didn’t make her a Dundee or a fool, He brought His raw material out of Adam, so Eve was made with the same intelligence and wisdom; Adam was smart, Eve was smart too.
Look at it this way, you wish to do some accounting and you need help, what type of person will you prefer to help you? Someone with zero knowledge of accounting or someone who knows the stuff as much as you do or even better? You will definitely go for the latter, why? Because when you have someone who knows as much as you do helping you, your work becomes easier, but a person without the ability can only mess up the whole thing for you. Why then do you think God will make a helper who is inferior to Adam?
God made them and allowed them to share some potentials and features, but then, He also made them to be different in some ways, why? Because they had different roles. Adam received the assignment, Eve was to help in fulfilling the assignment, this made Adam the head.
Why then do you think all you need to achieve as a lady is to look beautiful, walk like a peacock, and wait for a man to marry you and provide all you need? Why should you think all you have to offer in a relationship are your body for sexual pleasure and your womb to carry babies? You were created to help the man, to make his life easier, to be his number one fan and supporter, but why will you make his life more difficult because he couldn’t buy all your makeups and get you designer bags and shoes? Do you think it is his duty to create wealth and make your future or present home flourish financially? Then you are to help him do it if he fails to achieve it, you both failed; whatever you think his roles are, you both share the responsibilities.
But how can you be a helper when you have allowed the love of pleasure and material things to dull your sense of reasoning; having the mindset that you need a man to fulfil all your needs, therefore looking down on those that cannot is limiting your potentials. It is so heartbreaking that some sisters have thrown away great relationships because the guy cannot meet their financial expectations. Isn’t it ironic that we all get to that point where we are no longer free to ask our parents to meet some certain needs because we have grown to the point of taking responsibilities, but we will hurl those needs on a man and heaven helps him if he can’t meet them?
Sis, I know you need to look good, I know you have some needs that must be met, but there is a reason for this cliché “cut your coat according to your cloth”, not according to your size. Live within your means, be a blessing to the man in your life, not a leech he can’t do without. Two good heads are better than one, maybe he is yet to have a breakthrough because he needs help, and that is what you were created for-be the HELPER.
I feel the pain of the sisters that spent their all on a guy and got disappointed at the end, when I said ALL, I am not just talking about money, I mean you loved him, supported him, encouraged him, prayed for him, but at the end, when you thought God has finally answered your prayers, you got dumped, he suddenly realized you are not good enough for him, to make matter worse, he couldn’t state categorically what you’ve done wrong.
It is okay to feel hurt, to feel used, to even look down on yourself, but that should be for a while, don’t dwell on it, and never allow your pain to turn you into a leech. Truth be told, I know some sisters became materialistic because they had invested in the past and they lost, but all men are not the same, while some sisters are heartbroken, some guys are too. Two wrong can never make a right. Don’t allow anyone rob and cheat you out of the good in you. Be wiser, but don’t be mean.
I hope you enjoyed the long epistle. Please don’t leave without leaving a comment. Enjoy the rest of the day.