You may be wondering what my WhatsApp story has got to do with ‘Learn This Basic of Dating To Prevent Heartbreak’, but just be patient and read to the end…
I was going through status updates on my Facebook wall today when I say a WhatsApp link share by 2 people, one I don’t know, but the other is a pastor and a blogger, I loved his articles I had seen and so when I saw the WhatsApp invite, I did not even bother to check what the group was all about before joining.
Guess what, I joined the WhatsApp group and I was like, ‘what!’, not at all what I was expecting. But this is what you don’t know, that was not my first time of joining WhatsApp groups straight from my Facebook wall it is a habit I don’t think I will stop, at least till I have enough reasons to.
But do you know why I join Whatsapp groups like that, without thinking or finding out about the group? Because I can leave or exit the group whenever I want; no one can ‘kuku’ hold me, not even the group admin(s), so me would just join, find out if it is where I want to stay, if not, then I leave.
I am not here to bore you with the tale of my WhatsApp adventure, but do you the way I see WhatsApp groups is the same way some people (both gender, but common to the dudes) see the relationship? You are wondering how? Ok, let me explain.
He sees a girl he thinks he like, not that he likes the girl o, he only think so. Maybe because she looks pretty, she talks intelligently, or he is just bored at that point. So what does he do? He asks her out, like ‘will you be my girlfriend?’ And not just that, he also begins to call and give attention. At this point, it is no longer about the girl but his ego, ‘how can a girl say no to me?’ The poor girl too is already falling in love, before you know what is happening, she said yes, and in her mind, ‘she don get a boyfriend be that o’, she may even change her relationship status to ‘in a relationship’ on Facebook, poor thing!
But is there something wrong with this scenario? Nope! Nothing is wrong, but welcome to the 21st century, the place where the normal is fast becoming abnormal and vice versa. The only thing that may be wrong is the other person, his mindset before asking her out.
Some guys see relationships the way I see WhatsApp groups, sad right? But that is the truth, they are just very impulsive, making hasty decisions. What do you do when you see a girl you like? Rush to ask her out? No! ask yourself if you even want a relationship in the first place, and ask what do you know about this girl to make you conclude you want to go into a relationship with her?
Some guys are like me, they don’t think much, they only ‘talk and do’, relationships mean nothing to them, this is the reason you may see them professing love to one person now, and talking marriage with another girl, yet there is another they want to date on Facebook. They have the mentality of ‘if the thing no work, she can’t ‘kuku hold me’. So they don’t even give much to make a relationship grow, it is all on the girl to prove herself worthy of their attention… God have mercy on any girl that fall in love with these guys, especially if you are not what they are looking for.
So what should you do to prevent falling for such guys? I have learned when someone says ‘I love you’, ask what do you mean? What you have in mind may be completely different from what he has in mind. ‘I love you’ means nothing to some guys, they can tell you that a million times to get your attention. So when he says he wants a relationship with you, please gently ask what type of relationship he wants.
But when you ask, don’t be desperate, act like any type is ok with you but you just want to know what you are doing. And whatever he says, please, give it time before you give your all. I use to say it, love is a verb, not a noun, it is not just something you say, but something you do, and not ones, but always.
If he is not serious about you, and he is only there to waste your time, it is good you know ahead, even if you will be staying, it is good to know the ‘shits’ you are in for. Remember, do not give your pearl to a swine, ‘lest he tramples it and then turn against you…’
This is not for the ladies alone; some guys have been heartbroken because they fail to define the relationship from the beginning. That she said yes to your proposal does not mean she is really into you. She may just be using you, keeping you there till a better person comes along… it is better you know ahead. If the answer you get when you ask shows she is not committed to the relationship, don’t go and build your life around her or the heartbreak ehn…
You really want to leave without dropping a comment? No way! let me hear your thoughts in the comment section below. Loads of kisses.