A friend once asked me “eh, do you believe in the ‘GOD says this who you should marry?” Yes, of course I do and strongly believe it. And the friend never went further questioning but deep inside me I know there was a war in the mind that birthed that kind of question.
Indeed GOD do INSTRUCT on whom to marry by His SPIRIT. But what and where the problem lies is how brethren go about the issue of God’s will. I Have heard testimonies about dreams, convictions of all sort. One that really interest me mostly was that which my former pastor told me that he heard a clear, sudden, non-frightening voice behind himself to a lady he has never met before (both happily married today anyway ). What else can I say? They are countless.
Many Brethren’s marriage seminar we attended while I was still an undergraduate has given us the idea that just like Eve a particular lady/man has been created for one another, then the struggle to search for who could these special being begin within us even though most teaching eventually assure us one day we would bump into them either you call it divinely or accidentally. Brethren tend to create a picture of a partner whom God has given the imprint of their destiny and glory. Someone who is already labelled with their name. This type of mentality has made some clung to wrong relationships, many were so afraid they would miss God will if they let go an obviously faulted relationship.
But do God really goes by this? Does He lead this way all the time and in all cases? One thing is certain and we should know that as much as God desire us to live in His will, He still respects our various choices. Now the bombshell is, God may never in your own case tell you to marry sister A or brother A yet, you will fulfill His will maritally. Not everyone eventually hear voices, dream dreams, visions or fall into a trance in choosing a partner. That is not to say we settle for just anyone. Of course you should know without any prophet telling you that an unbeliever shouldn’t form an option for you. The utmost will of God for every marriage on earth is to be an exact replical of His proposed marriage of the Lamb.
It may shock you to know that even hearing or receiving a revelation about a partner does not necessarily procure a peaceful marriage for you or an assurance of a right choice. But rather, your life must be continually be in tune with your spouse and in tune with God to make the union work. It is a man-wife-God not The man-God-wife ( that is a principle i learnt somewhere). God wish to be the center of our life and relationships, but God does not wish to take d place of the spouse.
Every existing sons and daughters of God (born again ) is a potential wife material or partner (smiles), either tongue speaking or non-tongue blasting, but the peace of God you have over one, and the promise you see God having for both of you is what set you on the course. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.“(Philp 4:7). Always know that there is no angel between you both, as much as you have your spiritual weakness so it is with the other person. It starts by faith. This is not to say brethren should be ruled by lust or convetousness which is a sin. Of course you don’t get in with someone if you both don’t share the same vision; for “Can too work together except they be agreed?”(Amos 3:3).
And always remember that GOD is not just sitting in heaven only to watch His precious children make the mistake that would cost them their destiny and eternity, you just continue to seek the kingdom of God first consciously and unconciously, God know how He will do it for you to walk into His divine will and purpose. Stop panicking over marriage choice and unknowingly idolising it in your heart than God. Some can fast and pray for days and months on marital issues but can hardly thirst for righteousness.
Impatience is what create a whole mess out of our marital issues. You felt a peace of God over someone, heard a voice, dream, vision, trance etc and fail to subject them to the test of time and Word of GOD before going ahead. Patience not just days, but months perhaps years answers lots of questions and straighten some issues. We all want to pour our feelings, urge, desires on someone desperately so we ignore the basics, we Want someone who is always giving us the attention we needed (Read the article; How To Live In Purity With The Opposite Sex . God is not moved by our man made times. His time is never too late either. If you must settle for God’s will, you must settle for God’s time. Why waste a lady’s time when are not yet ready to walk her through the aisle? Why spend half the year meant for blissful marriage in a confused relationship? Why wake up love when the time is not yet right? (Songs of Solomon 3:5)
Written By Bamise Egbewole