What is love to you? That sensational feeling? Butterflies in the stomach when you see your object of affection? People define love in so many ways, but a majority of these definitions are wrong. No thanks to novels, magazines, telenovelas, movies and even music.
You’ve watched or read the Cinderella and the Prince Charming story? Or even a Nollywood movie where a prince fell in love with a palace maid, had sex with her in the middle of the night, then bingo! They began to fight all and sundry to enjoy the love. If you are a big fan of romance novels, you may likely believe people have nothing to do when it comes to sustaining love. Indeed, love happens at a time we least expect and with whom we never considered, but sustaining the love and affection is no magic. Some years ago, I read a research report on love and human behaviour, the researcher, after a deep study concluded that the feeling of ‘awe’, ‘wonder’ or sensation that comes with love last only for a year. So I asked myself, how then can we sustain a relationship if all those feelings are no longer there? The answer to that is a story for another day, but for today! Let’s talk about things love is not.
1. Love is an insurance against hurt: many have asked if he loves me, why did he hurt me, my answer is, he is able to hurt you cause you love him. One thing we do before we go into a relationship is to check again and again and be sure the guy or girl indeed loves us deeply before venturing into a relationship. This is a hood this g, in fact, I will say, don’t go into a relationship with someone you don’t love. But finding someone that loves you so that you won’t get hurt is setting your hope too high, and if care is not taken, you may be going in and out of a relationship or remain unhappy because someone hurt you. Snap out of it. Live is not an insurance against love. With love comes tears, deep hurt, broken heart, sleepless nights, loss of appetites and much more. But also with love is forgiveness, and forgetting. It is not necessary that all those things happen, but they may happen, except you are in a relationship with an angel with 100% perfection. But with human…
2. Love is a feeling: from the introduction, I pointed out that love is way more than feelings. Feelings happen at the initiation stage, but that is all to it. Love is a conscious decision, not a force that pull you uncontrollably. Love is a decision to stay, a decision to stand against all odd. Love is seeing the not so good side and hanging on. You can be swept off your feet, but you won’t remain in the air forever.
3. Love is blind: sometimes I wonder how that saying came to be. But for the record, the saying is wise, deep, not a lie, but the problem is that people keep scrapping it at the surface. Making it look like love is so blind that it makes you a fool. Consider this, a man knows his roommate bed wets, (oh! The power of adult urine on a mattress), but he loves his roommate and didn’t want to leave him or kick him out, so he encouraged his friend to go see a doctor, and along the way, he made it a duty to wake his friend to go pee In the midnight, and each time an ‘accident’ happens, he joins his friend to dry the mattress the next morning. Now, that is a blind love. A decision to stay, to stand, to assist. Mind you, those friends aren’t gay, so no sensual feelings, but they still stood by each other. If you don’t know what you are doing or all you feel is a push, then hold on, what you are feeling may be far from love.
4. Love can never end: I know many people will disagree with this. We have watched lots of movies with happy endings and we can’t differentiate between reality and imaginations anymore. This type of mentality is the reason we take those that love us for granted, treating them unfairly. I have seen people who were so sure that their relationship is “break up proof” that they refused to adjust and take dressing. Alas! The other person couldn’t take anymore, drop their sorry ass, and they are left wondering what happened to the perfect love they once shared. Believe me, folks, there is a limit everyone can take, be careful not to hurt those that deeply love you to the breaking point because when they leave, they may never come back.
5. Love is a mental disease: Saw a meme with this caption some days ago and I was like “WRONG”. Some people believe that love is torture cause of what they have been through. Hell no, I have had my own share of torture and tears, but I can say love itself is not a torture, falling in love with a wrong person is. Falling in love with a wrong person as far as I strongly believe is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone, that is why you need to guard your heart. But the bad news is, most times, we don’t choose who we fall in love with.
So glad you are here, make sure you don’t leave without dropping a comment. See you next time. Enjoy the rest of the day.