“So, after all, I’ve done for him, one woman, what am I even saying, one girl will now come from somewhere and take him from me, eating the fruits of my labour in the process? God forbid. Come to think of it o, two years ago when I met him, he was practically a nobody o, I mean, all these girls flocking around him now wouldn’t have looked at him twice talkless of wanting him at all. So now, after all I have done to support and encourage him, one girl will not come from God knows where and take over? ‘ko jo’, it is not possible, I say it again, I will not allow it”.
This is an example of a rant from a ‘confused’ woman who is afraid of losing her boyfriend of fiancée or whatever you want to call it. I called her confused because she is obviously unaware of the exact problem she has and who or what the real enemy is.
What do you think is wrong with the thoughts above? You can’t see anything? Ok, let me help you. Do you notice our dear deranged sister is not blaming her man for straying? She labored on the man, she suffered for the man, she believed in him and supported him, but despite her deep loyalty, this man strayed, but she is not blaming the man, instead she is blaming the girl, the girl she does not know, a girl that owes her no loyalty, a girl she probably has never met. And instead of fighting her man, she is fighting the girl who may even be a victim of the lies and deceit of her own man.
So what should a woman do when her man strays? how should you handle the other woman, how should a woman deal with the side chick?
- Don’t focus on the other woman: Except the woman, your man is cheating on you with is a friend or a close acquaintance, you don’t have any business with her. Who asked you out? You man, who made you many promises? Your man, who have you been supporting? the man, who have you being loyal to? This same man, so he owes you loyalty in return, the other girl doesn’t owe you anything.
- Don’t take the fight to her: No matter how much you are tempted, be a lady and control your rage, don’t take the fight to her, she is not your enemy. What happens when you use malaria drugs to cure Ulcer? The ulcer will get worse, firstly because you are not treating it, then secondly because of the effects of the malaria drugs you are using.
- Understand this: A man knows what he wants, fight all the girls in your hood if it is not you, it is not you, you can force him to stay in the relationship but you cannot force him down the altar. As a matter of fact, you fighting cause of him ma quicken his resolve to dump you and you would be giving him a valid reason to, who wants a Floyd Mayweather for a wife?
But what then should you do?
- Be sure you are not being paranoid. When things aren’t going on well in a relationship[, it is easy to suspect his every moves. Every girl he talks to wants to snatch him. You stalk him, sniff him off and any smell of another lady like this (even his female cousin you have not met), ‘kasala don burst be that’. Aunty, slow down, the world doesn’t revolve around you and your problems.
- Ignore the other woman like she doesn’t exist. She is not your problem so why the fuss?
- Reach out to your man and discover what. He wants, find out why he is cheating, what exactly is he looking for? Mind you, it may not be because you are doing something wrong, it may be because he is just a confused and frustrated man.
- Find out if he still wants the relationship. See ehn, this thing is not by force o, if he doesn’t want you anymore, fighting other girls is worthless o. You will just look like a fool at the end of everything.
- Work on your relationship: if you decide to stay, work on your relationship. Make adjustment. Who knows, maybe he is now giving other girls attention because you are no longer the woman he fell in love with.
But no matter what you do, don’t turn to a John Cena because of any man. It’s not worth it.
Don’t forget to like us on Facebook